W is having another bout of fuzzy math....
So if I'm a "tax and spend" liberal, what does that make conservatives? "Cut taxes and spend" conservatives? That lable for us liberals fell apart a few years ago. W seems to be assigning loads of homework in Fuzzy Math 101 to the Republican congressional members.
Here is a word problem:
If the US is in an $8 trillion dollar defecit, should they get:
a.) cut taxes and increase spending
b.) increase taxes and decrease spending
c.) buy U2 tickets for all the citizens of the US
In Fuzzy Math 101, the correct answer is A, although I wish it were C.

Here, according to today's Washington Post, is some more info Fuzzy Math 101 and the budget:

"Last night, with the federal government warning that it was on the verge of defaulting on its debts, the House rejected efforts to reimpose restrictions on tax cuts and spending, then joined the Senate to raise the federal debt limit by $800 billion, to $8.18 trillion.
With last night's passage of the debt ceiling increase, the government's borrowing limit has climbed by $2.23 trillion since President Bush took office: by $450 billion in 2002, by a record $984 billion in 2003 and by $800 billion this year. Just the increase in the debt ceiling over the past three years is nearly 2 1/2 times the entire federal debt accumulated between 1776 and 1980.
A recession, a sluggish economy and five tax cuts in four years -- coupled with soaring defense spending on wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and rising domestic spending -- have turned record surpluses that Bush inherited into a record deficit of $413 billion in the past fiscal year.
Economists and budget hawks fear that rising deficits are contributing to the steadily declining value of the dollar, which will increase consumer costs, and that those deficits eventually will drive up interest rates and slow the economy."

BRAVO!! BRAVO!! Cut taxes and increase spending! A sensical, magical idea that has brilliance written all over it. Instant gratification is the American way. I'm so thrilled the government endorses it!

- posted by CosmoChica @ 2:27 PM 0 comments

 
Sex, Drugs and Political Polls
During campaigns, passion and the urge to mate is strong. Emotions and adrenaline run at super-human levels. There needs to be an outlet for the adrenaline and emotions: sex, drugs and political polls. The last campaign for which I worked, my team mostly drank and became obsessed with the latest poll. It didn't matter what the poll was, we had to know. Bush - Kerry. Bowles-Burr. Sheriff. Dog-Catcher. Student Council. We had to know!
Along with managing to keep polling data in order in our head, we managed to become functional alcoholics over a three week span. Not healthy, but normal for the campaign life
Other people, however, had more devious ways of letting out their tension. One senior staffer male on the campaign hooked up with at least three fellow staff members. At least two of those encounters involved sex. These staff members were older volunteers on the campaign, so it was not quite as scandalous as it could have been. All parties were willing.
There were also random hook-ups and sex with local people - non-campaign affiliated. I thought people only had bar sex in the movies. Chances are that if you meet someone in a bar and they are willing to sleep with you, they are totally sleazy.
On a more disturbing note, the Field Director, unbeknownst to Washington, slept with the 18 year old paid local workers. Slept may be too nice of a term. I'm tempted to use a stronger word, but I wasn't a fly on the wall. He is in his late thirties, had a pregnant girlfriend (8 months pregnant) who lived out of town. Yet he lured an 18 year old drug user/campaign worker (many of the workers were high school students or drop outs that were paid by the hour) to bed with him by offering her drugs. She was so high, that she laid there while the Dickless Bastard had sex with her. I really really want to use the "R" word. It's so disgusting that I would like to throw-up as I write this.

- posted by CosmoChica @ 7:49 AM 1 comments

 
The Democrats need to eat their Wheaties and spinach
I realize there is a tricky balance of power up there on the Hill. Not only is there a balance between Republicans, whom shall be called the Dirty Bastards, and the Democrats, whom shall be call the Wussy Whiners, but there is a balance within each party between ranking members and new members.
I have a new plan for the Wussy Whiners: forget the balance. Eat your Wheaties and your spinach and fight like you knew how to before Clinton was elected in 1992. Stop being timid. Start being bitchy. Start playing dirty. Politics always has been and always will be a dirty game. The Dirty Bastards re-grouped and began strategizing for the dirty game about 12 years ago. The Wussy Whiners should do the same. Mobilize your "liberal" base. Stop being afraid and start getting pissed. Spend resources on getting out the message that the Dirty Bastards are super dirty. Get off your Ass and start working your Ass off... Donkeys are hard workers.

From the Christian Science Monitor today:
"Meanwhile, the challenge for ascendant Republicans is to avoid overreach. Critics say that Wednesday's House Republican conference vote to change its ethics rules to protect leadership is a step in that direction. "It is ironic that 11 years ago, House Republicans adopted the same rule scrapped today in an effort to draw attention to Democrats' ethical problems," says a statement by Common Cause and Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics."
Santa and I are tight. I have it from good authority that the Dirty Bastards will receive lumps of coal this year while all the Wussy Whiners will receive Wheaties, spinach and the new U2 IPod from Apple.


- posted by CosmoChica @ 7:30 AM 0 comments

 
"And Iran... Iran so far away..."
The US's relationship with Iran is in shambles - much like Flock of Seagulls hair in the 1980s. In 2000, I recommended strengthening diplomatic and economic ties with Russia as a way to ameliorate tensions with Iran. Did anyone listen? N-O. Why Russia you ask? Russia is a key trading partner with Iran. Russia already provides Iran with much of its nuclear power while Iran provides Russia with a substantial amount of oil. An imbecile could figure out why it behooves us to make nice with Russia, but that would explain why W hasn't sought to improve relations. Nukes. No Nukes. Enriched Uranium. No Enriched Uranium. Who the hell knows what is going on! The CIA better get their asses in gear... Ah, J-Lo's ass...nice image...

Aside from our current diplomatic crisis, I feel sorry the state of politics in Iran. You have your Supreme Leader Khamenei, who is appointed by a council of uptight religious freaks, saying and doing radical things and causing a commotion; while at the same time you have your docile President Khatami, who is trying his best to be progressive and act in a way that moves Iran into the 21st century. Khatami may be overruled by Khamenei at any time, even though Khamenei was not elected by the Iranian public. Iran is not a backward state, but rather a state in transition (as far as Middle Eastern states are concerned). Women are allowed to hold elected office, drive, vote, attend university, and even wear jeans. Wearing jeans may not be so important, but when you are in a region where many women are confined to bee-keeper suits (as Bill Maher says), jeans are a big deal.
- posted by CosmoChica @ 8:46 PM 0 comments

 
Texas R.O.U.S. are the worst kind of vermin....
Recently, a plague of the Texas rodents-of-unusual-size has hit the DC area. Texas R.O.U.S., or Ratassicus Asswipeicrus, invaded the DC area a few years ago. The pesticide companies, the DCCC and the DNC were unable to rid the capital area of the vermin.
Please assist with ridding inside the Beltway of the Texas R.O.U.S. Characteristics include: cunning, lying, creepy and answers to the name "Tom DeLay" and sometimes "Asshole". Ways in which you can assist include the following: if you are from his district, write his office a letter telling him that you are disgusted that they are overturning ethics rules so he can stay in power (something the R.O.U.S. is quite accostomed to doing); volunteer with the DCCC in Louisiana to gain more seats for Democrats in house (Democrats are poisonious to the agenda of the power hungry R.O.U.S.) and stay informed. R.O.U.S. hate it when the public is informed.

The Pest Control company, the House Democrats, had this to say about the recent plague:

"Today, Republicans sold their collective soul to maintain their grip on power," said House Minority Whip Steny H. Hoyer (D-Md.). Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) said: "Republicans have reached a new low. It is absolutely mind-boggling that as their first order of business following the elections, House Republicans have lowered the ethical standards for their leaders."

Unless you have a Hitori Hanso sword, it is very difficult to kill vermin.

- posted by CosmoChica @ 9:17 AM 0 comments